Just for the record, an impression is an idea, feeling, or opinion about something or someone. It is instinctively formed without conscious thought.
Test this fact by doing anything you want. Then ask ten people to describe the impression you have made on them. You will be surprised to see a variety of impressions of yourself ranging from very negative to very positive.
Reviewing the impressions I have made throughout my life
What saddens me the most about the impressions I have made since the beginning of my life, and still make, is that they last forever regardless of the fact that I am growing into a less ignorant and selfish person all the time.
A positive impression one happens to make on a person who already have a negative impression of you seem to be in vain, as if negative impressions form a dense filter in a person’s mind. Of course, this forming of filters is another natural protection mechanism. Trying to survive while every Dick, Tom, and Harry steals our peace and joy is, after all, a tiresome and sickening business that shortens our time on this beautiful earth.
Don’t worry about the opinions of others!
In order to be happy, we have to make everybody around us happy. This is a daily challenge in the life of every human being. (Take note, Mr. Terrorist: Happiness built on the unhappiness of others never lasts!)
We do not do what we think we do
When my friend Svetlana Ivanova reminded us the other day that people don’t do what they think they do I was in fact busy telling myself that I don’t care about the negative impressions I have left in the minds of others. Bygones are bygones. What people think of me is their problem.
I was lying! Of course, I care. I actually care a lot.
Why?
Our urge to survive forbids us to make enemies. The more we are liked and loved the better are our chances to survive. (The fact that we do have enemies is a subject for another day.)
People-pleasers like me hate being a disappointment, not to talk about being the cause of annoyance. We love to love and love to be loved.
By telling myself that I don’t care about people who have negative impressions of me is an instinctive effort to ease my fear of rejection.
How to come to terms with those negative impressions we have made and still make
No matter how good or bad we are, there will always be three kinds of people in our life –
1. Those who like/love us just the way we are;
2. Those who can’t stand us;
3. Those who have no interest in our comings and goings.