Dictionaries define rudeness as a wild and unrefined state in nature, and in humans, socially incorrect behaviour lacking refinement, grace, civility and good manners.
Synonyms for rudeness are crudeness, discourtesy, primitiveness. We can indeed say that rude people are bad-mannered, ill-bred and uncivil.
In my capacity as financial administrator of a real estate agency I often find myself dealing with a rude person. To mention only one scenario - telling them that their rent for the month is still outstanding. It's like throwing fat in a fire. I can tolerate an onslaught of bad manners until a specific sensation - as if I'm getting begrimed with fresh faeces - compels me to end a conversation before saying something I may regret.
We all know that a person’s true character reveals itself when they are finding themselves trapped in an unfortunate situation. Amazingly, some people conduct themselves well and even adorably during difficult times, while others expose their most primitive, unrefined and repelling core – that little creature that is composed of three urges: live (survive), reproduce, and die.
Go figure!
This scenario is to be found around every corner – on the road, caught in a speed trap; at work, caught violating the rules; at home, caught disregarding the promises that were made on a wedding day, etc. - The situations that force our true character to pop like corn in hot oil.
What could be the cause of rudeness?
* Absolute ignorance.
* An undeveloped/unrefined defence mechanism.
* Acute pain (emotionally or physically).
* Anxiety.
* A narcissistic personality disorder.
* A bad upbringing is nine of ten times the only cause.
And here I must confess that I am no angel. During a specific time in my life I was disgustingly rude towards a specific person. I was battling with changes and disappointments I could not control, and on top of it, I was suffering burnout. My rudeness came from deep inside. I was not able to suppress it. Remembering that time in my life always prevents me from judging and condemning a person who is rude towards me.
Another thought-provoking reason for rudeness
How should a well-bred person respond to rude people?
Realizing this, I’ve made a list of Do’s and Don’ts when it comes to the handling of a rude person.
* Be prepared.
* Ignore all insults.
* Suppress emotions.
* Focus on the reason of the interaction.
* Don’t respond to any diversions.
* Hold on to your dignity.
* Imagine you are coping with an angry toddler having a tantrum.
* Postpone: “Let me send you your detailed account. Maybe I have missed one of your payments.”
* Ask: “Would you be able to settle your account before [date], or do you need a few more days?”
* Apologise. “I am so sorry for upsetting you, but we have to sort this out before it becomes a lawsuit.
* Never follow suit by being rude or sarcastic.
* Pray! Asking God to bless you as well as the other person with patience and wisdom is like popping an instant tranquilizer.
* As a last resort, end the call (but call again the next day, or continue with legal steps).
Feel free to add more Do's and Don'ts in the comment section!
Relative Quotes
" Whoever one is, and wherever one is, one is always in the wrong if one is rude." ~ Maurice Baring
" Arrogance is a mixture of impertinence, disobedience, indiscipline, rudeness, harshness, and a self-assertive nature." ~ Swami Sivananda
Always keep the opposite of rudeness in mind - Politeness
"Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are.” ~ Author Unknown
“There can be no defence like elaborate courtesy.” ~ E.V. Lucas
Until next week, | Shoutouts |