Friendship based on utility – When both people derive some benefit from each other. This type of friendship normally exists between partners in business, or between people who depend on each other to reach a personal goal. This friendship can easily be broken.
Friendship based on pleasure – When both people are drawn to each others’ pleasant qualities. This type of friendship is characterized by feelings such as passion (between lovers), or the feeling of belonging to a group of likeminded people. This type of friendship can also easily be broken by one who no longer derives any benefit from it.
Friendship based on goodness – When both people admire the other’s goodness, and have the desire to help another strive for goodness. These friends enjoy each other’s characteristics. Aristotle calls it a “…complete sort of friendship between people who are good and alike in virtue…” This is the love known as Philia (brotherly love). Ref: (The Eight Varieties of Love)
Killers of Friendships
Before Facebook it was easy to lose contact with friends who had moved on to another town, hobby, interest or work. Even some friendships that were based on goodness went into a deep coma due to distance only to awake at a reunion. Since the introduction of Facebook, however, most killers of friendships have lost their power.
Now we experience what I call a phenomenon. In real life, and especially on Facebook and other social sites, new friends enter our social zone with no intention of leaving it again. Even when we don’t, or no longer, share each other’s interests, or agree with each other’s views, we stay on each other’s pages.
Why?
I took some time to ponder my reluctance to delete old friends after they have clearly moved on, or new friends who don't really share my interests and views.
My conclusion
I derive pleasure from new friends just because they exist. Seeing them happy makes me happy, seeing them unhappy encourages me to support them, even with only my best wishes.
And herewith....
A special thank you goes to my friends in the third category, with whom I enjoy friendship based on goodness. Thanks to Facebook, Hubpages and Weebly many of them are spread all over the world. Our friendship is called Philia – one of the eight varieties of love.
Read more about The Eight Varieties of Love HERE....
Until next week, | Shoutouts |